But through the grace of God/Goddess, I'm still here. And I'm coming up for air.
I've been praying and meditating, screaming and crying, laughing and praising...trying to make sense out of what my life has become.
I chose silence because all it seemed I had was tears and fears, anger and resentment. Why me? Why now? How am I gonna get though this? Where is my support system? It got to the point where I just couldn't give any more power to the negative. I had to get out of this rut and make something better happen. I'm still climbing up out of darkness but I wanted to share with you some of the things that have been helping me get through. Later, I will give testimony on how I got ovah but I ain't there yet.
In his book, I Declare, Pastor Joel Osteen says, "Fear and Faith have something in common. They both ask us to believe something will happen that we cannot see.
"What we meditate on is what takes root. If we go around all day thinking about our fears, playing them over and over again in our minds they become our reality." And it did. Some of my worst nightmares came to pass. Because I was stuck on the sad, the bad and the ugly. I was stuck in darkness. But I was reading my spiritual enlightenment and listening to powerful praise and worship. I was doing "the work" as Iyanla Vanzant says. For me, "the work" is praying, meditating, assessing and refocusing. But I couldn't just read the books and watch the shows, I had to walk that walk. And letting go of fear and resentment is an ongoing battle.
I had to stop obsessing on the injustice, the pain, the anger and the fear. Wondering where were my "friends" when it felt I needed them most. I shut down and shut up. It's like the old saying "If you don't have anything good to say, say nothing." My Internet capabilities dwindled as well as my smart phone signals and my creativity stalled. I kept sarcastically joking with the Sprint people that my only means of communication with the outside world was failing me. But I realize that was perhaps for the best. I didn't need a pity party. I didn't need to give voice and power to the negative. I needed to plant some seeds of positivity and abundance. I needed to get my praise on. And as I made prayer, praise and meditation a daily practice I started healing. I started dreaming again. I started believing in the possibilities. Some of my Beloveds have held the light for me and the encouragement and love has helped tremendously. And life is getting better. (I love when Iyanla uses the term Beloved and I've adapted it into my vocab as well.)
In I Declare, Osteen also says we must choose faith over fear. "Don't use your energy to worry. Use your energy to believe." Talking about, thinking about, worrying about the bad and the negative was making my situation worse. So in order to thrive I had to shut it down.
It takes the same amount of energy to believe as it does to worry, Osteen reasons. "It is just as easy to say God is supplying all of my needs as it is to say 'I will never make it.' Don't focus on the worst. That's using your faith in reverse."
I declare I will choose faith over fear! I will meditate on what is positive and what is good about my situation. I'll use my innergy not to worry but to believe. Fear has no part in my life. I will not dwell on negative, discouraging thoughts. My mind is set on what God says about me. I know His plan for me is for success, victory and abundance. This is my declaration. I believe in miracles!!!
Luv,
La
XOXO
